Jumping Off from The Cliff of Death

For all the heartache, pain, frustration, depression, devastation, disappointment, sadness, sorrows and confusion that I felt and been through, they are nothing compare to how I feel now. I have lost the precious person in my life. I have lost the person I love the most but never know how to show. My father always stood up for us, worked trillions times harder to make sure the food was served on the table for the family. I saw him cried, tired, toiled and all the hard time my parents been through. And yet I never repay him back even a single thing. I always yelled and shouted at him. I was very rebellious to all the things that went against my will. I let him down on certain things years back and I made him disappointed. I’m very sorry, Pa…. I’m truly sorry for all the wrongdoings that I had done and I beg for your forgiveness. I know it’s too late to say it now, but angels please send my messages to Heaven, I want Pa to listen to every single word I say.

I am the youngest and the doted daughter of his. I still remember we had been through hard time for many years and me and sister shared the same bedroom with Pa and Ma until we moved to our current house 8 years back. Every single morning before he got out from the our bedroom, he would touch me and said “My little princess, aiyo, you have grown up so fast. So fat huh!? Pa Pa love you so much! You always make me proud. You are the cleverest girl and I’m very happy.”

I wish I can turn back time and rewind back all the memories. I want my life to be replayed and undone all the bad things that ever happened. I want a perfect family with perfect life.

I WANT MY PA BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PPPPAAAAAA……… DON’T GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DON’T LEAVE US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!! DON’T GO…………… PLEASE…………. Please……… pls….. plss…..

Tears rolling down my cheeks and touched the table…… will they touch the bottom of my Pa’s heart and soul….??? Please bring him back to me….. please…… I’m willing to exchange my life with his…… without him… there is no ME….